tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20165502394246109312024-03-05T22:32:21.009-08:00Real Women AnonymousAndreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-11780402720995286232015-08-29T10:39:00.001-07:002015-08-29T11:03:19.594-07:00Good Neighbor BagsI love my neighborhood. I love the diversity, from the Mormon missionaries on the corner to the architect down the street, the homeboys around the corner who have no visible means of support, and the teacher across the street. <br />
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I love to see neighbors recycling, biking to work, and saving water in their yards. <br />
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We live in a great neighborhood.<br />
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Also in our neighborhood-the homeless, and poverty-stricken. I do not know the circumstances of these people, and I have no reason or experience by which to judge them. I know sometimes the circumstances are brought on by personal choices, and bad decisions, sometimes the economy, and sometimes by things beyond our control. I do not care what the reasons are. I only know that my neighbors are in need. <br />
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However, I hate to be pan-handled. I hate it when strangers ask me for money. I hate it when I have to say no, or feel pressured into saying yes. I hate for my children to see me interact with those less fortunate than ourselves (yes, I believe we are FORTUNATE. There is a degree of luck, to the security we enjoy). I don't mind buying someone lunch, and I do whenever it's an option, but sometimes it just isn't. Most of the time I don't carry cash. And I feel that giving someone a few pennies is condescending. <br />
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But these people are my neighbors. <br />
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So last year, Hank and I decided to make homeless packages, and I feel that this is something anyone can do. I'll suggest a few ways to make it happen, and what we did, and a comprehensive list. <br />
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Get your friends or neighborhood together. Can you each give $20 to help 20 people in need? Do you attend a church where people will give donations? If you have a large family, that's another way to get donations. Giving something up completely for a month or two and putting the money into items for the homeless packages. You can go directly to the source-a store that sells grooming products, a dentist with lots of toothbrushes and samples of toothpaste, etc. <br />
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We sort of had a mixture. Both of our moms made donations of items and some friends we solicited on facebook really came through with some other items that we needed to make a complete package. We also put aside 10% of our money for tithing. Some of this we give to our church, some we put into charitable organizations, or non-profits we enjoy, and some we use in our neighborhood, for things like homeless packages and toys for tots. <br />
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The items are cheap. Most can be purchased at the dollar store, or for a dollar or less at places like Target or Walgreens. Costco also has things like 11 sticks of lip balm, 52 men's razors, and 14 bars of soap at discount rates. <br />
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Most recently, the things we put together were (mostly travel size): <br />
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Deodorant<br />
Bar soap/body wash<br />
Razors<br />
Shaving cream (for men)<br />
Socks<br />
Gloves/hats<br />
Toothbrush<br />
Toothpaste<br />
Chapstick<br />
Flash lights (include batteries)<br />
Kleenex<br />
Moist wipes<br />
Shampoo<br />
Body lotion<br />
Hand sanitizer<br />
First aid kit<br />
Sewing kit<br />
Money or gift cards to fast food<br />
A card<br />
Handwarmers<br />
Washcloth<br />
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It sounds like a lot, and it is. You can do less, and it's still helpful. The thing our neighbors were most excited about tended to be the socks. But you can even put together a package with just soap, deodorant, shampoo, toothbrush, and toothpaste, and we really recommend the socks (Costco, my friends). $5-$6 per package. Is that really too much to help a neighbor? <br />
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I also bought small reusable bags at Whole Foods for less than a dollar each. I bought 20 of those, and we got so much stuff we were able to put together another 5 bags, so we used gallon sized ziplock bags, and everything fit just right (minus the food items).<br />
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In our experience we meet a lot more men on the streets who are in need than women. There are reasons that there are less women actually out there, and women are in need, too. We did not put together gender-neutral bags, because men and women have different needs. We ended up doing 6 packages for women and 19 for men. Hank and I each keep a few bags for each in our cars, so that when we're out and about we can hand these bags to people out the window. <br />
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Last time they went fast. It was amazing how many people we encountered with cardboard signs-"hungry," "homeless," "looking for work," "anything helps." These are our neighbors, guys. Hard times, drug addicts, job that doesn't pay enough, mental illness, you just don't know what their story is. Does it really matter? Your community is in need. <br />
The experiences I had with these bags are something I wouldn’t want to miss. It is uncomfortable when people praise me for being “so kind.” I only want to teach my kids to not judge others and do something to help someone. It’s purely selfish. I hate not being able to help. Now I have a ready-made bag to hand out. Usually the kids hand them out, through a window. Henry made me go back once because we hadn’t had time to hand the bag to a man in the parking lot at WinCo. It was inconvenient, but not as inconvenient as missing a meal. Sam points out people who might not have a home whenever he spots someone with a cardboard sign. He asks to hand them a homeless package. Once when I was attending a conference, I handed a bag to a man who clearly was suffering from mental illness. When I came out of the conference, he was sitting on some steps, carefully taking each item out of the bag and examining it, then laying it next to him. He was surrounded by small things like a toothbrush, a pair of socks, a box of conversation hearts. He didn’t thank me. He didn’t have to. I’m grateful I got to see him appreciating these small items, <br />
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Sometimes there is no thanks. But sometimes, in exchange I have gotten small toys for the children, once we got a pepper plant which Sam planted and it is the only thing we’ve been able to grow. It gives us many peppers and they have been delicious. I’ve also been given flowers. How humbling it is to be given a gift by someone who has so little. But it’s not about the thanks or the things people have wanted to give me in return. What this does for me, is gives me a chance to teach the kids about giving, and selfishly, it let’s me feel better when I see someone asking for change. I hope against hope that something in that bag will help them. But I don’t sleep any better at night. I’m in a warm bed, or an air-conditioned house. My husband has a job, and I have a job. My children are getting the best education we can provide and have a savings account that will get them through college by the time they graduate from college. I have a large family, most of whom live in the same city as me. I have good friends who have been there for me in hard times. I cannot imagine what that person does when they are so tired they can’t stand anymore, but they are turned away at every corner, begging has been criminalized and their homes destroyed by the city of whom they are constituents. It is shameful and I wish I could do more. <br />
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Most of us want to help. My hope is that more people will make these packages, and that blessing bags, or homeless packages, or good neighbor bags, will spread so that more of our neighbors across the country are feeling a little less alone, a little more love and a little warmer/less hungry/refreshed/more clean. <br />
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The drawback is that it's not tax-deductible, and truthfully, donations to food pantries, and other organizations that ARE tax deductible (Naomi's House, Poverello House, Food Not Bombs) are also good ways to help. But haven't we all been blessed? We have a roof over our heads, food in our kitchens, even if it's just pasta. Some of us don't have much beyond that, but we are blessed. And are we not all beggars, too? It's such a small price to pay for our neighbors in need. Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-886200035241111092013-04-15T15:48:00.001-07:002013-04-15T15:50:15.767-07:00Of Luck and ChemistryIn Guys and Dolls, one of my all-time favorite movies, music, and shows, Sky Masterson, the main character describes how he'll "know when [his] love comes along." He states, "[My love] will come as a surprise to me, mine I leave to chance and chemistry." Sarah, the other lead character says, "Chemistry?" "Yeah, chemistry."<br />
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One of my qualifications for being jealous of a couple is how they look in pictures. Since I have been with a lot of guys who hate being in pictures, I was thrilled when Hank was so willing to have his picture taken with me. That's what I get for dating a 40 year old man instead of a 30 year old child. Get over it, You-Know-Who-You-Are. <br />
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So my Facebook account holds over 1,000 pictures, many of me with Hank, of us looking blissfully happy-which we are. <br />
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A friend commented the other day on one of our wedding pictures, that we are lucky. He has posted similar comments in family pictures and pictures of our adorable boys. Facebook is a dangerous place to draw assumptions, which you probably know. However, he is right. We are happy. <br />
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So, are we really just lucky? I like to think we have made decisions that have lead to the happy consequence of being happy. When are we getting lucky (in a non-sexual way) in relationships? I have been co-dependent, a girl who likes to sulk, and make my partner beg me to tell him what's wrong, and needy. Ugh. I hate that girl. Fortunately, my first husband broke me of these habits early in our marriage for reasons I won't go into. Except the co-dependency which I broke on my own because it just wasn't working for me, and it never does. <br />
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Hank entered therapy after a couple rocky relationships, and learned to be more honest, open, and to talk to me when he had a problem with something I did, do, or may do in the future. <br />
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So I kind of think it's not luck so much as our willingness to learn from past mistakes and not make them again. <br />
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But I don't have an overall answer. I thought I could marry my last boyfriend. I thought after my first marriage, what I had with him was as good as it got. My first marriage was the "Great Love" of my life, and I thought you only got one shot. As Lisa said, "Whatever else you can say about [him], you know he loved you." And that was true. <br />
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But when I decided I would rather be alone forever than marry the next guy, I met Hank and he was amazing. But a lot of random events fell into place for me to find him, including a minor set-up by the same Lisa, Facebook, and Anthropology Social Night. <br />
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What if these things hadn't happened? What if Hank had been turned off by the annoyed face I was sporting that night? What if I had decided he was too old before giving him a chance? What if Lisa hadn't been one of his students, or he had met someone before me, or I had gone ahead and married the now ex-boyfriend? Would we REALLY have still been so "lucky" in love? <br />
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As I've said before, everything does NOT happen for a reason. But there is a right place and a right time, and I think that may be a little of the luck side. <br />
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But there's also the way you choose to handle certain events, chosen and thrust upon you, that take you to the right place. <br />
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Did you see that Gwyneth Paltrow movie, "Sliding Doors?" In it, she lives two parallel lives. In one, she catches an elevator and comes home to find her boyfriend with another woman. They break up, she meets another man, and cuts and dyes her hair, which I think is just the mechanism to help us determine which of her lives we're currently viewing. In the other life, she misses the elevator, doesn't catch her boyfriend THAT day, but eventually does, and in the end she meets that same guy from her alternate life, in another way. This gives a "meant to be" feel to the movie, but I don't think that's the point. I think the point is, by making certain decisions, she was lead to happiness in both lives. Let's not forget that her boyfriend also made choices that affected her.<br />
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I don't believe in the "one and only." For example, Hank and I would not have been right for each other at most other stages in our lives. But maybe if I had been single and he had been single, we would've met other people that would've made us almost as happy as we are together. <br />
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So if you're unlucky in general, like me, you are not completely out of luck, because it only takes a little luck, as long as you are in the right place at the right time. Learn from your mistakes, grow as much as possible, and you'll be there. And, trust me, if he's not there, you don't want him. When you are both in the right place, and it's the right time for both of you, that's chemistry, baby. Chemistry? Yeah, chemistry. <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-msPo5fEN1m0/UWyEE6rEq2I/AAAAAAAADYA/07qaHaljzWs/s1600/DSC_0203.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-msPo5fEN1m0/UWyEE6rEq2I/AAAAAAAADYA/07qaHaljzWs/s320/DSC_0203.JPG" /></a>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-33484875437123725332012-11-11T11:11:00.003-08:002012-11-11T11:11:45.900-08:00Random Bar GuyOne of my good friends, we'll call her M, has a knack for picking up random guys in bars, through sheer will and exuding some kind of random bar guy scent, meaning she didn't have to do anything and they would seek her out. She had better luck than another good friend, who we'll call Lucky. Lucky, I have personally seen get picked up at an ATM, in a food court, and on the street by perfect strangers. M simply enters a bar and proceeds to be pursued by a random bar guy or random bar guys. That is, until she married a very un-random, very un-bar guy. <br />
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The question of the day is, can you sustain a relationship with a guy you met in a bar? In M's case, she would spend a couple of dances with them, and then disappear.<br />
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In my single days, I tried an experiment. (And by "single days" I mean a couple of weeks that I was single between my ex-husband and ex-boyfriend, but that's another story) I have a good friend, Brian, who I used to go out to bars and clubs with occasionally. I am the kind of girl who loves t-shirts and jeans like no other. When I went out, I would wear my Converse All-Stars, a t-shirt and jeans. I have been seen in a corset, still with jeans, and heels, in jeans, with a t-shirt, but those were special occasions.<br />
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Since I was newly single, I asked Brian something like this, "If you saw a girl in a slutty shirt with lots of cleavage in a short skirt, and a girl like me in a t-shirt, who would you go for?" knowing that some guys like the t-shirt girl. Brian, being honest, surprised me. He said, "It would depend on her face. If she looks approachable, I'd go for it." This was bad news for a girl whose "normal" face looks mad or annoyed, and who usually actually IS mad or annoyed.<br />
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So I started the experiment then next time I went to a bar. I did wear a tank top, because Brian said shoulders are sexy, but I have no cleavage, so I didn't really feel like a sell-out. Fortunately, I wasn't with M or Lucky, so I stood a chance at meeting someone. I stood at the bar, near my girlfriend, but staying open, and kept what I think was a "pleasant" expression on my face. And let me tell you, this took some serious concentration and constant awareness of my face. I made eye contact, and gave my number to three guys that night. Brian was appalled. Apparently what he hadn't told me is that you shouldn't give your number to strangers.<br />
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Anyway, I went home that night, thrilled with my experiment, and that one of those guys was actually "kind of cute." But the experiment was over, it was too much work. However, the kind of cute guy pursued me, and long story short, we dated for about a year and a half, and it wasn't great, although I did grow a lot in that time.<br />
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So back to my question: Can you sustain a relationship with a guy you met in a bar? Did I or didn't I? I almost married him, but it would have been a huge mistake. But we dated for over a year. But it ended.<br />
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Here's what I think. This guy was looking for a relationship. I wanted to re-marry, but wasn't ready so soon after my divorce. Should he have been looking for a relationship in a bar? I don't know. But I think not. Because I am a pretty honest person, but I believe we both started the relationship in deceit. I pretended to be a pleasant person, and he pretended to be an open person. I learned more about him that night than I would learn over the next year. He learned that I am not a naturally pleasant person, I tend to use my annoyed face most of the time, and he found me unmotivated. (But for the record, he was wrong about that, because I got a great job and a Bachelor's degree, adopted two kids and got married within a couple years of meeting him) <br />
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So random bar guys can be fun, as M will attest, but the bar is for the random people, not for the relationship people. Because it's hard to build a relationship with the girls with the shoulders and the pleasant face when she really just wants to slip back into her t-shirt, jeans, and fuzzy slippers. <br />
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Did I mention the fuzzy slippers?Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-35538051800266918672012-09-18T18:27:00.000-07:002012-09-18T18:27:16.191-07:00The Artichoke Festival<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uFGYP-bgPPw/UFkewhof9NI/AAAAAAAAC-A/D7swmGaQlns/s1600/Truck.jpg" imageanchor="1" style=""><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uFGYP-bgPPw/UFkewhof9NI/AAAAAAAAC-A/D7swmGaQlns/s320/Truck.jpg" /></a><br />
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Enough of the serious stuff. Let's talk about something fun: The Artichoke Festival. Or more accurately, a weekend with the girls.<br />
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I am fortunate enough to be married to a very trusting, understanding and supportive husband. I hope that he considers me as trusting, understanding and supportive as well. He did not hesitate when I told him I wanted to spend the weekend with the girls in Castroville at the Artichoke Festival. <br />
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Having 2 boys for about a year now, I am settling into the understanding that kids do not give you a break. They do not care if you are tired, or sick, or busy, or on one phone with Verizon while you desperately try to fix your other phone. <br />
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My husband and I took the kids to San Diego for a week. We fortunately had a suite that allowed us to be separated from them during nap and bedtime, but spent every other waking hour with them, sometimes in close quarters, or running ourselves ragged an the zoo, safari park, Balboa Park, Sea World, etc. Six hours in the car meant six hours of, "Mommy! A bus! Daddy! A bus! Mommy, where did the bus go? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy?" <br />
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When we got home, it was back to the daily grind. More talk about "a bus" and trying to tire the kids out so they would nap and sleep at night, while simultaneously tiring ourselves out. There's a reason people started getting married and having kids at 18 back in the day. 43 and 32 are having a hard time keeping up with the little ones. <br />
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Back to girl time. First of all, what a relief. I live with boys. My husband is a boy, I have two sons, and a male dog. I occasionally spend time with women. I see my mother in law and my mom about once a week. I see women sometimes when I'm out and about. I relish my time shopping at Michael's, where women are the majority, but in general I spend time listening to Henry talk about poop, seeing Sam throwing things-anything-in the house, and watching my husband do guy stuff. I have five close friends who all live or have ties within 50 minutes of where I live. I will thank all of their understanding significant others as well for letting us have some time alone. And I have to hand it to the girls, there was a little guy talk, and some texting, but we mostly had each other's undivided attention. <br />
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Don't get me wrong-the artichoke festival was fun. We ate a lot, laughed a lot, bought artichoke souvenirs and made up a song about it, but it's really about the girl time. We played Apples to Apples late at night until the cards ran out, ate pizza, went swimming/hot tubbing, bought nail polish and hair dye, and talked about girl stuff. We shared beds, and secrets, and had real quality time. <br />
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The girls remembered my birthday. I opened gifts-which I wasn't expecting and they surprised me by not only getting me a pie, but knowing my favorite kind. I did speak with Hank, and also the kids, very briefly, but most of the weekend was spent reconnecting with girls I love. <br />
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I love my husband. I love my boys. I even love the dog. Having Sam throw his arms around me and Henry spontaneously say, "I love you" is maybe the best thing in the world. But there is nothing like girlfriends. Magazines for women are always talking about frenemies, and what to do when your friend backstabs you, or how to handle their envy. These girls are not envious, secretly hoping I fail, or gossiping behind my back. They listen, are generous, have my best interests at heart, want to spend time with me, love my family, respect my decisions, and help me understand my needs and self better than I know myself. I can just be me, and it's so easy with them. <br />
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Any other kind of friend is just not worth having.Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-64708630672051174562012-01-07T23:34:00.000-08:002012-01-18T10:39:42.403-08:00Pregnancy EnvyIt seems to be everywhere. Women today are just having more trouble getting pregnant than our mothers. My friend Megan found an article, (http://www.conceiveonline.com/articles/pregnancy-envy) on pregnancy envy, and how to cope. She posted the article on Facebook with a positive note. Her friends were full of helpful comments about how it took them a few years to get pregnant, and then, wham! They have five kids. And then there are a few like me. I said, "And sometimes it just never happens." 13 comments on the article. <br /><br />The main points of the article were respectable. First, feeling envy is normal, and a perfectly acceptable emotion. True. Next, find your triggers. For example, if you can't handle baby showers-don't go. Third, remember your spouse (I would change this to partner). He or she may be having a hard time, too, and sometimes it can be helpful to lean on each other. Finally, find a way to cope that works for you-keep a journal, blog, or connect with family and friends. (I would add that no one understands like a woman who has never been pregnant, and that was something that was helpful to me)<br /><br />So, it's no secret that I had trouble conceiving for various reasons, and soon after my husband and I married, we chose to adopt, and through twists and turns made an informed decision about which method to go, and now we have two little babies, and we couldn't be happier (noted in previous blog post). <br /><br />Now the opinions come out. First of all, excuse me, Lady-who-got-pregnant-in-2-months-but-still-felt-envy-until-then-I don't feel sorry for you. <br /><br />The article was pretty good, but I would also add don't take it out on people you care about. Friends get pregnant, that's what they do. Complain to someone else about it, you don't want to lose a good friend in the meantime. (Especially if you are going to love your little "nieces" and "nephews" like no other!)<br /><br />It's just my opinion on the article, I think they should add that. Skip the baby shower, yes, but don't lose a friend in the meantime. <br /><br />Another thing is to live your life as though you are not going to get pregnant any minute. Take jobs that could lead to careers. Stay in school, or go back to school. If and when it happens, these plans are easily changed. After you find out, you still have about 8 months before the baby comes, plenty of time to finish the next semester, or give your job 2 weeks notice if need be. Don't put your life on hold waiting for that baby. Because, guess what? Five years later you don't have your degree OR your baby (me). I finally gave up, bought a truck instead of a family car, got a great job and finished my degree. I also started looking into single parenthood. Then life changed, but now I had some years of career experience, a degree, and my plans were easily changed into coupledom and parenthood. <br /><br />I'll tell you what, though. For me, acceptance was the biggest relief. Accepting that I probably wasn't ever going to get pregnant, it was like, okay, on to the next step, but it's so hard to get a clear answer on that, almost impossible. It took me ten years to accept it, and decide that there was another option for me. I quit trying, and now I'm on BC pills until the voluntary hysterectomy, so it's over, but there's still a part of me that thinks, What if a miracle happened? <br /><br />Please don't take this as advice. You should do whatever you feel is right if and when you start feeling some envy. I feel it, even with my little babies asleep soundly and safely in their beds. I can't blame a friend for sharing what she shares about her pregnancy. I gloat about my little ones, and about my awesome husband, and I'm sure that's hard for some people, too. But I feel like, they don't know all the pain that came with getting here. And that I still experience. So pregnant women should be able to be excited and "complain" about, ugh, the nausea. And I should be able to not comment, block her, and say to myself, Oh, boo hoo. I'd kill to have morning sickness. <br /><br />There are a lot of people who are having a hard time these days. But those people are so often optimistic. "It took me 4 years, but it happened." Or "God has a plan," etc. Those people are very different from those of us who NEVER got pregnant and NEVER will. We're pessimistic, and realistic. We know it doesn't happen for everyone. We know that two of our own husbands may have gotten their respective other wives pregnant, but it just didn't happen for us. We know that you can try everything, and all it brings is disappointment. I want it to happen for my friends. I love my boys so much, I know they were meant to be mine, and adoption is a whole other kind of amazing, one that I wouldn't want to miss, but I still think, why couldn't you have just come out of me to get here? Why couldn't I have that experience that so many people (including their bio mom) take for granted? So many of my friends are struggling with it right now, and I want them to be able to experience pregnancy. At the same time, I know it will be hard for me, even though it's all said and done in that chapter of my life. <br /><br />I don't want to give advice, but it's here if someone chooses to take it. My main complaints are the following: I don't need pregnancy advice, hope, or inspiration. I don't want to be grateful for this trial that will make me stronger and take me down a different life path. I want to be sad, and I don't want to come to your baby shower. I also don't want to lose you as a friend, and you deserve to be happy and excited about your pregnancy. I don't want to take that away from you or make you feel awkward. <br /><br />And at this stage in my life, some of that is not true anymore. I don't need pregnancy advice because soon I will not have a uterus, and it's off the table. I am a little grateful because by adopting I found my little soul babies, and I couldn't be happier, and I didn't contribute to the population. I do want to come to your baby shower, because I'm excited for you, and want to love your new baby. <br /><br />But fot the past ten years? What helped was limiting my contact with pregnant women (don't visit a young married ward at BYU), letting myself feel what I was feeling, going to bed when the disappointments were acute, enjoying my relationships baby-free, and talking to adoptive moms and moms who had a hard time getting pregnant, or never carried a baby full term-but it has to be someone who's sensitive to your situation-sometimes moms don't understand that just because she got pregnant after years of trying, it doesn't mean I will. <br /><br />I love babies. For me, once my friends had pushed that baby out, the envy was over for me, hand over that baby. I have a great life, and now I have babies of my own that my friends and family love and spoil. I know that's not the case for everyone. I wish all my friends luck in having whatever baby experience is in the cards for them, and that, in the meantime, they can utilize this time wisely, unlike me. In hindsight, that made it a little easier-but not much. Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-43785489644604916712011-08-29T22:32:00.000-07:002011-08-29T23:03:16.856-07:00ChildrenWith so many of us in new life stages, I thought it was an appropriate time to get some action on the blog.
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<br />Children. I suddenly find myself with two babies, who I love. They were not born to me, but they found their way to me, and I am their mother in every other sense of the word.
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<br />What is a mother?
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<br />I think of my own mother, and remember her as patient and loving all the time. It makes me feel as though I fall short when I am impatient with my kids, but I know that this is what I remember because it is the dominant characteristic. She kept me safe at all times, and let me explore and make choices for myself. She always spoke kindly and never criticized.
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<br />Today she offers advice only when necessary and asked for, and is always, always there for me. Although she does not read the blog :)
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<br />For myself I think about what is most important to give to my children. I know in their case it is the attention they need in order to be able to attach, the unconditional love, and consistency.
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<br />The important things are not biological. Although I am not terribly religious, I have found some value in some scripture. I was reminded of the Judgement of Solomon. In the King James Bible, 1 Kings 3:16-28, two women in the same house gave birth to a
<br />baby within three days of each other. According to the women, one rolled over the baby in the night, killing it, and took the other baby as her own, switching them. Both denied that the dead baby was her own. King Solomon said that he would divide the child in two, and give half to each. I used to think that this was an interesting example, but couldn't possibly be true. No one would think that it was a good idea to cut a baby in half, obviously the child would die. But I do remember certain situations of thinking, "If I can't have this, no one will have it" and destroying that thing. One mother said, "Let it be neither mine nor thine, but divide it." The other mother said, "Oh my lord, give her the living child, and in no wise slay it." The book says, "Then spake the woman whose the living child was," but there is no way to know if the child is biologically hers. King Solomon said, "She is the mother thereof," and she is the true mother.
<br />
<br />At different times in our lives as mothers we need different things, and to give different things. For myself, I need my mother's experience and help, and I need to give my children love and safety. These things will continue to change as I change, and my needs change, and as the needs of these two little babies change.
<br />
<br />I have experienced the unconditional love as a mother now. Prior to our current babies, we had two other babies. I miss and think of them every day. I love them still, and I know that will never change although I may never see them again in this lifetime. When I hear the song, "For Good," from the musical, Wicked, I think of them. "It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime...so much of me is made of what I learned from you, you'll be with me like a handprint on my heart." These children were never mine to keep, but I loved them like my own.
<br />
<br />I'm not going to talk about the struggles of adoption, the process, the emotional side of it, the reasons we chose adoption, and the agency we used. Just that I have something that I always wanted. I missed out on a lot of things. Pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, ultrasounds, stretch marks, looking into little faces determining which features are mine and which are my husband's. These things are not important to me now. A friend I knew a few years ago adopted, and as people congratulated her on the new baby, I remember her saying over and over, "We couldn't be happier." I never forgot that, and now I understand what she meant. I didn't need all these things in order to be blissfully happy when I met my children. I knew at once that they were mine.
<br />
<br />True mothers are those who love their children unconditionally. Some people have more than one mother. Some people are blessed enough to have conceived, given birth to, and raised their children. Others find their children much later in life. I know so many children and mothers who have found each other in so many different ways. I feel certain that in my case, my children found me just at the right time for all of us. And I couldn't be happier. Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-50042816142544180852011-03-23T14:05:00.001-07:002011-03-23T14:21:46.313-07:00What I Love About Fresno<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0nw6FDdWlNI/TYpjAdEOW6I/AAAAAAAAAD4/WUwTb2AqH7E/s1600/tower-theatre.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 243px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0nw6FDdWlNI/TYpjAdEOW6I/AAAAAAAAAD4/WUwTb2AqH7E/s320/tower-theatre.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5587387147160017826" /></a>
<br /><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8"> <meta equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css"> <title></title> <meta name="Generator" content="Cocoa HTML Writer"> <meta name="CocoaVersion" content="1038.35"> <style type="text/css"> p.p1 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica} p.p2 {margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 12.0px Helvetica; min-height: 14.0px} span.s1 {letter-spacing: 0.0px} </style> <p class="p1">For those of you who are not originally from Fresno, you may have had the same experience upon moving here that I had. I was advised to move north of Shaw, anything south of Shaw was dangerous. I wonder now at the people who advised this, what they could possibly know about their hometown.</p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">I took the advice and moved to a little apartment at Maple and Herndon, which I liked. But I hated Fresno. I couldn’t wait to get out. I looked for jobs outside of the city and even outside of the state, traveling for job interviews, and eventually landing a good position in Fresno. That was okay because the company I worked for was large and had locations all over the country. I knew I had a good chance of being able to transfer once my job became open at another site. </span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Then I met Hank, a Fresno lover. I asked him what he could possible love about Fresno. It was boring, new development everywhere, chain restaurants, nothing to do. “Oh,” he said, “I’m not talking about North Fresno, I’m talking about Fresno, Fresno.” </span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Now, to be fair to North Fresno, we have had some fun there. I have to admit that I occasionally shop at River Park. I love Michael’s, I’ve had fun at Boomers, Wild Waters is a pretty fun water park, there are some good libraries, Sal’s Mexican restaurant has the best salsa in town, and my own engagement ring is from a shop in North Fresno. </span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">A lot of people live there. And that’s about it. </span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Hank lived in the Tower. I had heard about “The Tower.” It’s a dangerous place to live, with lots of crime. The weirdos, liberals, and gays live there. But I was curious to see his place, so one evening I went over to see his house. It was surprisingly charming, and I felt completely safe there. </span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">When we got engaged and began looking for a house to share, we started in the Tower. We then asked our real estate agent to find some good matches closer to the CSU Frenso campus, where Hank works. We hated them. We went back for a search in the Tower.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">People were concerned. “It’s so dangerous.” “You can’t stay alone when Hank is traveling for work.” “Don’t you want to at least look in Clovis?” I started looking around my neighborhood. I saw lots of McCain signs, and Yes on Prop 8 everywhere. I knew I didn’t belong in North Fresno anymore. </span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">We found a house that we loved, and I recognized it the moment we walked in, as my “dream house” (quite literally, a fireplace I had seen in a dream of an older, brunette me, with children. I am now a brunette, and older, and children are looking imminent). I feel safe here, and I now see campaign signs that match my own political views. </span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">But that’s not why I love Fresno. I love Fresno because there <i>are</i> things to do. Sure, there’s Shakespeare in the Park in North Fresno once a year, but we constantly have plays at the Broken Leg Stage, 2nd Space Theater, Roger Rocka’s, and other venues. We could go to Applebee’s Bar and Grill on Friant, or we could go to The Landmark, Livingstone’s, or Starline. There is a lot of live music, or we could have a quiet dinner at Rousseau. There are shows at the Tower Theater, locally owned interesting shops on Olive, from games, to witchcraft clothing, to antique shops, and more. </span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">We live on a block with a variety of colors and styles of houses. Some are pink, or the lawn is littered with statues, or it’s like a forest in the front yard, but there is nothing identical or similar from one house to another. They all have character and individuality, just like the people who live there. On our block are teachers, graphic designers, other professors, and an architect. There’s a couple of guys, I like to call “the homeboys” around the corner, and I don’t know what their occupation is, but it must be great, because they are always hanging out in their driveway smoking and drinking beer in the middle of the day. I love those guys. </span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span>
<br /></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">Why do I love Fresno? In addition to the things I just mentioned, how about the Rogue festival, Wednesday night swing dance, Willey Farms, PechaKucha, CSU Fresno, Creative Fresno, Tri-Tip contests, Fulton Mall, comedy night, Fresno Film Night, Battle of the Bartenders, Arthop, the Saroyan theater, Monster’s hockey, and Reel Pride, just to name a few? </span></p> <p class="p2">
<br /><span class="s1"></span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">And I never would have discovered all of this if I hadn’t traveled south of Shaw. </span></p>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-33528125827449822312010-06-22T13:36:00.000-07:002010-06-22T13:41:45.466-07:00Fresno's Plan to End Homelessness, Good Plan, Guys<p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span><span></span></span>Note: This is an old issue now, but the blog was never posted at the time. However, the homeless are still being targeted for the crime of being homeless. We are electing new councilmembers, and Ms. Sterling is termed out. Good luck in her candidacy for Fresno County Supervisor.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"></span>The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. (Anatole France. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">The Red Lily</i>)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span">But in the city of Fresno, anyone can beg in the street-so long as they can afford a permit.</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">The Fresno City Council voted a disappointing 6-1 on an ordinance that prohibits solicitations on a street median. (Thank you Cynthia Sterling, for your brave vote)</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">While many Frenans think of this as just an excuse to stop homeless people from begging, City Councilmember, Larry Westerlund supports his proposed ordinance. Said Westerlund, if “somebody wanted to, up to one time every six months, they would be able to come in and there would be a form they would fill out, a one page form. It would be like here is my name, here is the median I would occupy on this date, whatever that date would be.” Sounds simple, right? Also, the applicant would pay a filing fee, provide proof of insurance, and wear a brightly colored vest.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Here is my problem: Clearly this initiative is aimed at the homeless, who are unlikely to be able to provide the required insurance and filing fee, and even less likely to try for the chance to stand on a median from sunrise to sunset once every six months.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Why not just have the courage to admit it, instead of supporting, defending, and making weak arguments such as Westerlund’s comment, “There’s only one intention here, and that is to deal with people’s safety. There’s no discrimination here.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">But don’t worry-The Fresno Bee’s Kid’s Day and the Fresno Firemen are safe. They will be issued permits to solicit on medians.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Some opponents of the ordinance have pointed out that if it’s unsafe for the homeless, it’s unsafe for all.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Let’s try to solve the homeless problem. An initiative of “Housing First” for the homeless was dismissed in Downtown Fresno in favor of more profitable residences. Housing First has proved to be successful where it has been implemented (<a href="http://www.endhomelessness.org/">www.endhomelessness.org</a>).</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">In reference to Blong Xiong, a TowerExchange Listserv member wrote, “<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="color:black;">How does anybody feel the Tower District is represented by our current city councilman? Personally I feel he has North Fresno best interest at heart.”</span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">I’m disappointed in Perea, and Xiong. I call Westerlund a coward, and I applaud Sterling for her one lone opposing vote.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">District 1-Blong Xiong</p> <p class="MsoNormal">District 2-Andreas Borgeas</p> <p class="MsoNormal">District 3-Cynthia Sterling</p> <p class="MsoNormal">District 4-Larry Westerlund</p> <p class="MsoNormal">District 5-Mike Dages</p> <p class="MsoNormal">District 6-Lee Brand</p> <p class="MsoNormal">District 7-Henry T. Perea</p>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-16349250500930760392010-04-29T03:45:00.000-07:002010-04-29T03:56:48.897-07:00True Love vs. Settlement Love - by Lisa<strong>What is love?</strong><br /><br />Love by my definition is not blind; it is blatantly obvious. It smacks you in the face the instant your eyes fixate on the hunk of meat across the room. Love is not learned. Love does not grow with time: it is already there.<br /><br />Is there true love? Or, is love a figment of the imagination? Something that people create to convince themselves that the person they have settled for is “the one?” Is it settling to “love?”<br /><br />I believe love exists in certain cases, but in other instances, I believe that love is a replacement for loneliness and fear that sets in as people age, a variable of our societal pressures. For this reason, I will separate true love and settlement love from one another.<br /><br />True love is not a pro’s and con’s checklist, for if it is, you are practicing settlement love! For all of those who have known love, true love, it is simply right and there are absolutely no causal nor correlational factors to justify this elation. You cannot describe the feelings you have for that other person. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam">Occam’s razor</a>: It just feels right.<br /><br />In comparison, both parties practicing settlement love will contemplate how much fun they have together, how good they are for one another, and just how great of a person the other one is. But I’m sorry, are you interviewing with a company for a finance position that offers a lifetime contract and full benefits? <em>No!</em> This is not an if/then scenario. Love does not require logical deductions, comprehension, nor comparisons between finances and assets: it simply is.<br /><br />Love is instant. It does not take three years of dating and getting to know the individual to assess if there is the right "love potential" there to last a lifetime. This is an example of settlement love. People that merely stay together who have been in a relationship for long periods of time (which I define as a duration consistently longer than two and a half years without an engagement proposition) and do not get married within the first three years of dating are suffering from cognitive dissonance. This term, cognitive dissonance, equates to the checklist, the settlement, “the one,” because the parties have invested so much time in one another that the rationale must be that they were meant to be and therefore, I should marry this individual. Want converts to a should or an obsolete scenario leaving both parties feeling obligated.<br /><br />What do I know about love? I was in love once, or at least I believed I was. I thought about someone on a daily basis before we started dating, had a physical attraction the moment I first laid eyes on him, and still think about him from time to time, deep down knowing it wasn’t right and yet, part of me still wanted it to be right. Why? I do not exactly know why but what I do know is that this was not love and if I had stayed with him, I would have been settling.<br /><br />Whether or not you believe in true love, do <strong>not </strong>practice settlement love. Believe that there is someone better for you out there, waiting, hoping that you will find them amongst the masses.<br /><br />...But what if there’s not? What if this is the best person you could ever possibly meet? What if?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-14305401948176655172010-03-03T21:43:00.000-08:002010-03-03T21:45:09.590-08:00The Sexual Revolution: A Triumph for the Men<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; "><div class="im" style="color: rgb(80, 0, 80); "><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">I am not really a feminist. I hate women’s sports, I prefer that my husband take out the trash and mow the lawn, and I think a woman's talents are best used in the home. These are just opinions, and I don’t judge people who feel differently about these things.</span></p></div><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">But let’s face it; in the wake of the sexual revolution, men got the long end of the stick. </span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">Women now allow their significant others</span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;"> many outrageous wild cards:</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;"> another partner for one night (Curb Your Enthusiasm) on their anniversary, a threesome on his birthday (last month in Redbook) Men are privy to watch girls take off their tops in front of the masses (Spring Break) - speaking of which, porn is something a man has a right to do, get used to it (Adam Carrolla, every podcast). Oral sex is no longer taboo. Oral sex goes both ways, true, but how many of you women are getting it as much as your partner?</span></p><div class="im"><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">Some of these things may be extreme, but who hasn’t been accused of being unreasonable for withholding sex in a relationship, abhorring porn, or wanting your partner to abstain from masturbation when you are ready and willing to have sex with him or her? Are these things really unreasonable?</span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">How many years ago would something like having a threesome with your partner be considered off the table under no uncertain circumstances? Now it’s common for a couple to discuss it to “spice up” their sex life.</span></p></div><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">Forget about the revolution. Let’s talk about sexual liberation. What is liberation? I think of Samantha Jones (Sex and the City). She has (we'll assumed protected) sex with near strangers with no apologies, and she sets the terms. Still, there are fierce double standards (see every other entry in </span><a href="http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/" target="_blank"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">www.textsfromlastnight.com</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;"> <wbr>), and we all do it. When your partner says, “Which one is Samantha?” don’t you say, “Oh, she’s the whore?”</span></p><div class="im"><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">No bras, having unprotected sex with multiple partners, and drugs. Is that liberation?</span></p></div><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">Sex is great, but let’s take control of it. As a friend told his goddaughter, “Don’t think of it as losing your virginity. Think of it as gaining sex.” A valid viewpoint, but that should be her decision.</span></p><div class="im" style="color: rgb(80, 0, 80); "><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">The point I want to get across is this: ignore the sexual revolution and seize your sexual liberation. Never let a man (or woman) let you think that you are a prude or out of bounds. It’s okay to say no, it’s okay to say yes. It’s okay to try something new, and it’s okay to only try it once. Sexual liberation has no “do’s and do not’s.” </span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;"> </span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">Girls, liberation is not about being coerced into doing something you don’t want to do because “it’s the nineties.” First of all, it’s not the nineties. Second of all, liberation is about gaining equal rights. I have the right to say no. I have the right to not take my shirt off. I have the right to not wear a bra. I have the right to save myself for marriage. I have the right to destroy a rented pornographic film. I have the right to deny my husband a threesome and demand that the never let the idea cross his lips again. I have the right to be with another woman (but, in California, I do not have the right to marry her). I have the right to abandon a strict moral upbringing, or embrace it. </span><span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;"> </span></span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">Liberation is about rights. Men do not have any rights where your body is concerned. He can, and will disagree with you about some things. That’s why finding the right partner is so important. Trust me, if you’re not on the same page sexually, you have a long road ahead of you, that can lead you to feeling unreasonable and question your own limits. Never question your own limits sexually. You have a right to feel whatever you’re feeling, and a choice to act on it or not.</span></p><p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#663366;">Disclaimer: My current partner has never coerced me into doing something I didn’t want to do, and he was appalled when I brought up the subject of a threesome. He does not use pornography. Please do not assume any other statement I made refers to him, myself, or anyone I actually know, with the exception of “Think of it as gaining sex.”</span></p></div></span>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-22876819191745181752009-12-23T17:45:00.001-08:002009-12-23T17:48:39.843-08:00Christmas Eve<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SzB6GIUIEtk/SzLIUH7icyI/AAAAAAAAADc/1reefjAHfNA/s1600-h/Santa.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 113px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_SzB6GIUIEtk/SzLIUH7icyI/AAAAAAAAADc/1reefjAHfNA/s320/Santa.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5418613549731836706" /></a><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" border-collapse: collapse; font-family:arial, sans-serif;font-size:13px;">When I was still young enough to have no doubts that Santa was real, on Christmas Eve I was awoken by Mom. I was confused because those were the days when all of us kids would congregate in one of our bedrooms and watch the clock until it turned 6:00 and we could wake Mom and Dad up. We didn't know that 6:00 came after 5:59, just that when it said 6:00 that was the time that we could start opening presents. It was long hours waiting and wondering if the next minute would show 6:00. <div><br /></div><div>Santa was a big part of our lives, bringing gifts to Baby Jesus in the Nativity scene, coming to Grandpa's a little early before he started his trek across the rest of the world, and posing for pictures in the parking lot at the mall, just for Sam.<br /><div><br /></div><div>So when Mom woke me up, I wasn't sure what was happening. She left me a letter to read with the terrible news: There was no Santa. The letter actually said he was real, in spirit, but I knew that didn't mean anything. I was shocked. After I read the letter twice, I ventured out of my room. Mom and Dad showed me what they had been doing every Christmas Eve since I was a baby. They were filling stockings up with candy and other goodies, and bringing out the big toys, the ones from "Santa." I helped in bewilderment until it was time for them to roll out my present. They told me to go back to bed and get some sleep. That was the first Christmas I remember not gathering the kids together to watch the clock. I couldn't bear to watch them wondering if Santa had come, or what he would bring them. Believing. </div><div><br /></div><div>But when the next morning came, JD and Karen were so excited, seeing that Santa had eaten some of the cookies and milk we had left, and Rudolf had nibbled on the carrot. There was the same note that we would see each morning for the rest of our lives. A smiley face with a Santa hat that looked so much like Mom's signature smiley face. The other kids were so happy with the magic of Santa coming down our chimney and bringing them gifts and filling their stockings before he moved on to the next house. I had been part of it, and I was excited, too. </div><div><br /></div><div>That was the year Christmas became about giving gifts to each other, and not about getting, and now my favorite part of Christmas is finding the perfect gift that immediately reminds me of the person I got it for, wrapping it, and watching them open it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now all the kids know about Santa, but he still brings us gifts that we aren't allowed to see until Mom and Dad are awake. The last few Christmases I spent at home, Mom and Dad were waking <i>me</i>, pulling me out of bed to see what Santa had brought. When I texted my mom to let her know that I couldn't have any candy in my stocking this year, she texted me, "Better tell Santa." I knew she would.</div><div><br /></div><div>I'm 29 this year, heading into my thirties, but part of me still wonders how he always knows what to bring me that will bring me a little happiness and magic. I guess I still believe a little, and I'm always sure to put out my fire on Christmas Eve before I go to bed. Just in case. </div></div></span>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-89098257320432197222009-10-18T23:05:00.000-07:002009-10-19T00:09:17.826-07:00You circumnavigate, girl!<a href="http://www.abc.net.au/local/photos/2009/09/03/2675231.htm"><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 470px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 270px; CURSOR: hand" border="0" alt="" src="http://www.thepunch.com.au/images/uploads/jessica_watson_boat.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size:78%;"> Watson on her awesome pink yaht, aptly named "The Pink Lady."</span><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">Source: thepunch.com</span><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /></span><span style="font-size:78%;"><br /><br /></span><a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33366623/ns/world_news-asiapacific?GT1=43001">Jessica Watson</a> left from her home country of Australia today on a quest - to become the youngest person to sail solo and unassisted around the globe. She seems to be the first female teen to attempt the feat, and whether completed with assistance or not, would beat Zac Sunderland at being the youngest person to make the trip. Sunderland and Briton Mike Perham, both 17, completed the trip this summer during seperate months "assisted," meaning they had to get outside help fixing their boats during their attempts.<br /><br />"The first leg of Watson's journey will take her past northern New Zealand, then Fiji and Samoa. In a trip expected to last about eight months, she plans to pass around the southern tips of Africa and South America," according to the Associated Press.<br /><br />Let the criticisms fly.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.volvooceanrace.org/news/article/2009/OCTOBER/CAPE-WARNING/">Andrew Cape</a>, navigator of PUMA Ocean Racing, second place winner of the 2008-09 Volvo Ocean Race, stated in a letter he wrote to Watson, "I do not want to shatter your dreams but to undertake such a voyage requires more experience than you currently have. Obviously you have to start somewhere to gain experience but to head straight into the Southern Ocean on your own is foolish."<br /><br />Cape also <a href="http://www.theage.com.au/national/teen-solo-sailor-watsons-camp-rejects-death-warning-20091009-gqgd.html">said </a>that he thinks Watson has a 33 percent chance of having a successful voyage, 33 percent chance of damage to her boat or crew, and 33 percent chance of losing her boat or crew.<br /><br />Karen Brooks of <a href="http://www.thepunch.com.au/articles/pc-rubbish-allows-a-teen-to-try-sailing-the-globe/"><em>The Punch</em> </a>writes that Jessica's attempt is merely a grab at the 15 minutes of fame; a foolish decision that doesn't need to be made in order for her to enter adulthood.<br /><br />"If she breaks the record, will we then approve 15, 14 and 13 year olds making the journey for the same reasons? To fulfill their dreams? To make history?" Brooks says.<br /><br />In fact, 13 year-old <a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2009/08/dutch_girls_solo_sail_around_w.html">Laura Dekker's </a>dreams of attempting the same trip have been suspended, thanks to a Dutch court. On the topic, NPR's Frank James writes, "We can predict there'd be a 12-year old next and after that maybe a 10-year old. There could even be a seven year old eventually, <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1043059">like Jessica Dubroff</a>, the girl who wanted to be the youngest to fly across the country and wound up dying in a plane crash with her father and flight instructor.<br /><br /><span style="color:#333399;">Megan's two cents:</span><br /><br />As long as there's no pageant-mom reason for Jessica's attempt, I say live it up, girl. Live your dreams.<br /><br />Despite all the controversy,<br /><br /><span style="color:#330033;"><strong>Jessica, the Awesome Amigas salute you!!</strong></span><br /><strong><span style="color:#330033;"></span></strong><br /><span style="color:#330033;">Resource: </span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"></span><br /><span style="color:#330033;"><a href="http://www.abc.net.au/local/photos/2009/09/03/2675231.htm">A tour of the Pink Lady</a> with Jess</span>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-43687924199926735222009-10-01T21:00:00.000-07:002009-10-19T00:07:14.921-07:00Mancession and fatties on the runway<strong>Mancession - as annoying as a Staycation</strong><br /><br />To go along with Andrea's post on The Superior Wife Syndrome, the current recession crisis has created a new word combination, or <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Wombo">wombo</a> - "mancession."<br /><br />In an <a href="http://blogs.moneycentral.msn.com/topstocks/archive/2009/09/30/recession-leads-to-a-mancession.aspx">article</a> by Kim Peterson on MSN's <em>MoneyBlog</em>, she describes how more men have lost their jobs in this recession than women. This is due to most of the layoffs being in the manufacturing and construction fields, while women work in more secure fields, such as healthcare and education. However, women may get the short end of the stick, in that they make less money, are more likely to work less hours or are working part-time positions without benefits.<br /><br /><span style="color:#333399;">Case in point, me.</span> I work two part-time retail jobs without benefits. I also relocated to southern California and am living with Lisa for free in order to make more money. The Central Valley is not the place to be if you are looking for a full-time job in fields outside of healthcare, education or tomato truck driver.<br /><br /><br /><strong>Fatties on the runway at London Fashion Week</strong><br /><br />According to an <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/london-fashion-week/6214027/London-Fashion-Week-Stylist-walks-out-as-Mark-Fast-uses-size-14-models.html#">article</a> in UK's <em>The Telegraph</em>, "Mark Fast’s decision to use larger models at London Fashion Week provoked a row between his management team and caused one stylist to walk out" on September 21st.<br /><br /><p><img style="TEXT-ALIGN: center; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; DISPLAY: block; HEIGHT: 250px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5389644067697153506" border="0" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IE66ks1JaGY/SsvcuVjhVeI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/q1-GYfcybxw/s400/plus+size+model.jpg" /><span style="font-size:78%;"> Photo by Jane Mingay, <em>The Telegraph</em></span></p><p><span style="color:#333399;">Here's what happened: </span></p><p>Designer Mark Fast decided to use three plus-size models - a size 12, size 14, and size 12/14, whatever that means - on the runway to challenge the idea that only skinny women could wear his dresses. </p><p>This decision led to a "team change" (p.c. way to say they fired a team member/had someone quit) in order to make the dream happen.</p><p>"We wanted women to know they don’t have to be a size zero to wear a Mark Fast dress," Amanda May, Fast's managing director, said. "Curvier women can look even better in one.” </p><p>Fast found <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8265312.stm">one</a> of his models, Hayley Morley, at <a href="http://www.allwalks.org/">All Walks Beyond the Catwalk</a>, a runway show which features models ages 18 to 65, from sizes 8 to 16.<br /><br /><span style="color:#333399;">Megan's Two Cents:</span><br /></p><p>Kudos to Fast! But sadly, my first thought after seeing the photo of the model in grey was, "She's fat!" And I'm a fat girl saying this. Isn't that awful? I think it's because the dress shows off the worst parts of a plus-size woman - our underarm jobbies, or "wiggly bits," as a British lady would say.</p><p>Now, my second thought - when will the runway world show a size 20 (which I am)? Or, heaven forbid, 22? </p><p>This is the closest we've got so far: </p><p>(warning: partially-nude women at this link)</p><p><a href="http://insidecurve.lanebryant.com/buzz/lane-bryant-models-start-a-body-image-revolution/">Lane Bryant Models Start a Body Image Revolution</a></p><p><a href="http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2009/10/these-bodies-are-beautiful-at-every-size">These Bodies are Beautiful at Every Size - Glamour Magazine<br /></a></p>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-24940678871396784962009-09-28T20:14:00.000-07:002009-09-28T20:16:12.805-07:00Micro-Managing Marriage<p class="MsoNormal">According to the October 2009 issue of <i>Redbook,</i> there is a phenomenon that has most likely always existed, but now a name has been coined. Social psychologist, Carin Rubenstein wrote the book called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">The Superior Wife Syndrome.</i></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I believe in this syndrome, but not necessarily in the way which Rubenstein reported, “Wives run the show while their husbands sit back and take it easy. Women are the CEOs of their households, and their husbands are more like employees.” </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>What show? And under what circumstances? One, I would never consider myself to be running the show over on Adoline Ave., but I certainly saw my mother run a 7-bedroom house full of six children, most at different schools, with different extra-curricular activities, one of whom had severe disabilities, and still manage to make an after-school snack and dinner at 6, with all eight of us sitting around the table, whether we liked it or not. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">However, having been married, I no longer consider my father to have been sitting back and taking it easy. It was difficult to see at the time, since my life consisted only of me in my eyes, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal">I </i>went to school, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I </i>came home, and then my father came home and turned on the game, or read the newspaper. Whether or not he actually did these things, I cannot be sure, because, as a teenager, I had little use for either one of my parents, failing to realize they were the ones keeping me alive by feeding me and providing a car, gas, shelter, and other teenage necessities. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">But what about life outside me, me, me? My father went to work every day, for some years commuting a couple hours a day. He made good money, and worked hard, and provided a very good life for me and my siblings. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">So back to Superior Wife Syndrome. Unfortunately I have run in circles where the wife, or more often, the Baby Momma, supported a lazy, uninterested-in-work, drug abuser. So the significant other runs around taking care of the kids, cleaning, trying to support the household while the husband would “sit back and take it easy.” These are not the readers of Rebdook, and not the households this article is referring to. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">So who are these lucky men? They’re not men like my father who worked 40+ hours a week to support a family of 8, and they’re not really the Baby Daddy either. Well, the gist of the article is not an argument for whether or not this pattern exists. It was more unoriginal, about how this can build resentment in both partners, how it affects relationships, and how to break the disorder. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Certainly the media, and by media, I really mean television (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Everybody Loves Raymond, Desperate Housewives, </i>even <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Family Guy)</i> has portrayed men as too incompetent to help out around the house. I won’t lie; I think my dad played that card, too, sometimes. But in reality, is it really men’s incompetence or the unwillingness of the women in the house to let the men do some things? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">An example: As a young child, I had chores. I thought it was very important for me to do my chores, or the bathroom would not be clean, the floor would remain covered in crumbs from the boys eating popcorn in front of the TV, or we would have no clean dishes. But when I say I was a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">young</i> child, I mean it. Like, four years old. How good is a four-year-old at cleaning the bathroom? The point was not to help the house get clean; it was to teach me the importance of housework, to learn how to clean, and to feel that I was helping out the every-expanding family. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">I was a part of the home.</i> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">A quote from the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Redbook</i> article by a woman who we shall call only Mrs. New Jersey for the purposes of this blog stated: “If my husband was in charge, our living room would have stadium seating, our TV would be sitting on beer boxes, and all dinners would consist of something wrapped in bacon!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">First of all, I would <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">love</i> for all of my dinners to be wrapped in bacon. But second of all, so what? By not giving our husbands a share of the responsibility of the home where we spend so much of our lives, we are taking away the little (or large) pieces of himself that we love so much that we wanted to share our home with him. I’m not saying go back to the bachelor pad of his single days, but build a home with the responsibilities together. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think Mrs. New Jersey may be underestimating her husband, but even if she’s not, can she give up a little responsibility and let him run with it? She wouldn’t be the first one to have a television set on beer boxes, or stadium seating, although I think that’s an exaggeration. Maybe if she would include him in setting up their home, he would surprise her. Maybe she can give him some space to do his own thing, and would it be so bad if he set the den up like a movie theater? Or even mounted deer heads on the wall, decorated with foam fingers, or other stereotypical “guy” stuff? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">The other point I want to make is, is Mr. New Jersey really sitting back and taking it easy? Or is he working 40+ hours a week helping to support her life style of non-beer-box television sets? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">I am a firm believer in marriage being a partnership. At 28, I won’t pretend to be a marriage expert, but I have seen successful marriages and unsuccessful ones. I think I have a pretty good handle on some of the important pieces of a successful marriage, and some of the detrimental characteristics of an unsuccessful marriage. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">My husband and I both work full time. I also go to school full time and he has a lot of social responsibilities aside from his job. We are very busy, and we split the mandatory responsibility and the joy of having a home together. We both cook, we both clean (him more than me, I admit), and we contribute to the household budget. I wouldn’t want him micro-managing our home and I wouldn’t want to do it myself. I also wouldn’t sit back and take it easy if he did all the work, because I would still be working full-time, going to school full-time, and spending time with my friends and family. I want to be part of our home, and I want my husband to be part of our home. </p><p class="MsoNormal">References:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12.0pt; line-height:115%;mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-theme-font:major-latin">Yorio, Nicole. (2009, October Day). Are you a wife-in-chief?</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%; mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ascii-theme-font:major-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-theme-font:major-latin"> </span></span><em><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%;mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ascii-theme-font:major-latin;mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latin;mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:major-latin">Rebook</span></em><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:115%; mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ascii-theme-font:major-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-theme-font:major-latin">, p. 102-105.</span></span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height: 115%;mso-ascii-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-ascii-theme-font:major-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-hansi-theme-font:major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman";mso-bidi-theme-font:major-latin"><o:p></o:p></span></p>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-74203233407613426112009-09-27T00:21:00.000-07:002009-09-27T03:28:32.379-07:00Wearing your president<div align="center">Making political statements on the red carpet has never gone out of style.</div><div align="center">This one, though, was considered the worst fashion choice at the Emmy's, held September 21st.</div><br /><div align="center"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc2V1MzD9WXcETMH1Io-X902UJEmUYVYMNccNMChYcpebGcxcOiYBZ808Gf0K-N7GtX_i4OH7pipjXlXpBDpNN0rkVYuSF1DPtfvBv8YaSrmXYS-N14o6J9t7_Wb6r1V4Ts7NkcDw_yDN3/s400/Picture+47.png"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 291px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc2V1MzD9WXcETMH1Io-X902UJEmUYVYMNccNMChYcpebGcxcOiYBZ808Gf0K-N7GtX_i4OH7pipjXlXpBDpNN0rkVYuSF1DPtfvBv8YaSrmXYS-N14o6J9t7_Wb6r1V4Ts7NkcDw_yDN3/s400/Picture+47.png" border="0" /></a> <strong>The girl?</strong> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">Victoria Rowell, daytime soap opera star. </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><strong>The dress?</strong> </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">Made by an unidentified designer (Heck, Rowell may have sewed it herself) of a fabric available on <a href="http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=29476170">etsy.com</a>, commemorating President Obama's visit to Ghana this past July.</div><br /><div align="center">And now, the inevitable question(s):</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"><strong>Why did she wear that to the Emmy's?</strong><br />When asked who the designer of the dress was, Rowell told reporters, "a statement," smiling as she explained her support for Obama's health care reform plan. As a foster child who watched her mother struggle to get her children approved for health care, Rowell represents one of 25,000 youth who emancipate from the system annually without health care coverage. </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"><strong>Was it appropriate for the event?</strong></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center">Critics disapproved, but what do they know? They tell us not to watch certain movies that become cult classics, not to read books that make us think. I, for one, think that the perfect place to talk about a cause that you are passionate about is in a public setting. </div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"><strong></strong></div><div align="center"><strong>Did it accomplish its purpose?</strong></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center">I would overwhelmingly say yes; it bumped up her c-list status to b-list.</div><div align="center">Case in point - 70,000 pages currently in search results on google for "rowell obama," constituting a brand-new buzz among fashionista journalists and fans of the late Mr. Blackwell.</div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"> </div><div align="left">As for this journalist, looking up my hotmail account on msn.com lead me to discover who Victoria Rowell is - a strong woman who used her celebrity to start a <a href="http://www.rowellfosterchildren.org/">non-profit </a>helping kids in foster care; a woman who posted the Obama dress picture as the first in a photo slideshow on <a href="http://www.victoriarowell.com/site/index.php">her Web site</a>.</div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;color:#cc33cc;"></span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;color:#cc33cc;"><strong></strong></span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-size:130%;color:#cc33cc;"><strong>You go, girl!</strong></span></div><div align="center"></div><div align="center"></div><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Sources:</span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">1) </span><a href="http://www.shoppingblog.com/blog/922099"><span style="font-size:85%;">http://www.shoppingblog.com/blog/922099</span></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">2) </span><a href="http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/Emmys-Undressed-The-Worst-4285.gallery?GT1=28151#m=zC2bPXgx1Gk"><span style="font-size:85%;">http://wonderwall.msn.com/tv/Emmys-Undressed-The-Worst-4285.gallery?GT1=28151#m=zC2bPXgx1Gk</span></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">3) </span><a href="http://www.missxpose.com/2009/09/victoria-rowell-explains-her-emmy-obama-dress/"><span style="font-size:85%;">http://www.missxpose.com/2009/09/victoria-rowell-explains-her-emmy-obama-dress/</span></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">4) </span><a href="http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/226917/alist_to_zlist_celebrities_what_do_pg2.html?cat=7"><span style="font-size:85%;">http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/226917/alist_to_zlist_celebrities_what_do_pg2.html?cat=7</span></a><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">5) </span><a href="http://www.google.com/"><span style="font-size:85%;">http://www.google.com</span></a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-25791422165148515082009-09-24T01:30:00.000-07:002009-09-24T01:42:36.379-07:00Remember, You are never aloneJust a short clip that means a lot to me at the moment.<br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;"></span></em><br /><em><span style="font-size:85%;">Sidenote: Been meaning to share it for a while - the day it was posted felt like one of the loneliest days of my life.</span></em><br /><br /><object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vIrGKB5nRKE&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vIrGKB5nRKE&hl=en&fs=1&color1=0x2b405b&color2=0x6b8ab6" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br /><br />Thank goodness, I am never truly alone.<br /><br />P.S. If you ever have the opportunity to be in a race, do it. I'll never forget the Spirit Rally relay race I participated in at BYU-Idaho, running a lap around the track to a cheering crowd, and cheering teammates :) It's wonderful how similar Sister Dalton's experience captures my feelings.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-13178187948650614342009-09-20T19:36:00.000-07:002009-09-20T19:47:45.570-07:00The New Craft Corner-Andrea's Bruschetta<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SzB6GIUIEtk/SrbpPg9HRRI/AAAAAAAAADQ/D1DEIc2_qNk/s1600-h/DSC00644.JPG"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 240px; FLOAT: right; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5383746857321579794" border="0" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SzB6GIUIEtk/SrbpPg9HRRI/AAAAAAAAADQ/D1DEIc2_qNk/s320/DSC00644.JPG" /></a><br /><div>Tonight, after a day of fasting, I made bruschetta for the first time. I've had it before, and I like it, but I don't really know how to make it. From my not knowing, I made the best I have ever had. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>8-10 servings</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>1/2 baguette sourdough bread</div><br /><div>1 tomato</div><br /><div>3 garlic cloves</div><br /><div>shredded parmesan cheese </div><br /><div>basil </div><br /><div>parsley </div><br /><div>balsamic vinegar </div><br /><div>olive oil</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Brown 8-10 slices of the bread in a frying pan in butter. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Meanwhile, chop the tomato and garlic. Mix with parmesan cheese, basil, and parsley, being careful not to mash. Add a little balsamic vinegar and olive oil. When the bread is done, top with the tomato mixture. It is heavenly. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>I am not a chef, nor a recipe writer, but I am a good cook, and I never measure. Use the unmeasured ingredients with your common sense. </div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Try it and let me know what you think. </div>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-61598858938775141782009-09-09T23:18:00.000-07:002009-10-06T17:57:19.435-07:00Christian Siriano line at Payless<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IE66ks1JaGY/Sqia04gaiRI/AAAAAAAAAFA/FE14zU4mj00/s1600-h/BR_HD_ChristianSiriano_100x718.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379719988206274834" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 45px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_IE66ks1JaGY/Sqia04gaiRI/AAAAAAAAAFA/FE14zU4mj00/s320/BR_HD_ChristianSiriano_100x718.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><div>I am fiercely in love.</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>With a <a href="http://www.payless.com/store/product/detail.jsp?skuId=071724100&productId=65679&subCatId=&catId=cat10376&lotId=071724&category=&catdisplayName=Brands+">shoe</a>!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>(Probably doesn't help that I work there.)</div><br /><br />Oh, and did I mention I deal with these kinds of customers...<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/PE2P8fCqYuw&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/PE2P8fCqYuw&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />(at both <a href="http://www.lanebryant.com/">Lane Bryant</a> and <a href="http://www.payless.com/store/">Payless</a>)<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ffff66;"><span style="color:#6600cc;">DAILY?</span><br /></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ffff66;"><br /></span></strong><strong><span style="font-size:180%;color:#ffff66;"></span></strong>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-37695538537467934892009-09-07T23:30:00.000-07:002009-09-09T19:35:20.989-07:00Marketing-Promoting the Gay Agenda?<p class="MsoNormal">This May Levi’s launched a White-Knot for Equality campaign to align with its new Memorial Day to Labor Day white clothing line. The White-Knot for Equality is an organization that is pro-gay rights. The symbol is a white ribbon tied in a knot (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/27/business/media/27adco.html).</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Several celebrities have been seen sporting the white knot which prompted Levi’s to ask permission to use White Knots as part of its marketing. Levi’s has also signed on with Logo, a gay cable television station and with the movie, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">Milk</i>. Levi’s premiered a commercial where a man walks off with a beautiful woman after putting a pair of Levi’s on, and aired an identical commercial where the same man walks off with a hot guy after putting the jeans on. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">August 3<sup>rd</sup> Ron Prentice, executive director of Restoring Marriage and Protecting California Children (www.protectmarriage .com), accused Levi’s of helping to push the gay agenda, asking do they want his money or his vote. Are they selling clothes or gay marriage? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Is Levi’s trying to push the gay agenda, or making good marketing sense? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Campbell’s, Ford, American Airlines, Pepsi, Apple, Ikea, and Chevrolet have all been “exposed” as pushing the gay agenda. This has lead to boycotts and bashing in blogs and forums for organizations like Restoring Marriage and Protecting California Children. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Has it also lead to an increase in sales? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">In 2005 the American Family Association boycotted Ford for buying corporate ads in gay publications. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Most sources agree that Ford decided to pull the ads, and then reversed their decision, but Ford’s reasons are unclear. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">In fact, these kinds of ads have seen a 28% increase in recent years. Which leads me to wonder, are Ford and other companies pushing the gay agenda or trying to increase sales? </p> <p class="MsoNormal">G. William Domhoff, Professor of Sociology at UC Santa Cruz states that money rules in America (<a href="http://sociology.ucsc.edu/whorulesamerica/power/national.html">http://sociology.ucsc.edu/whorulesamerica/power/national.html</a>). So when gays start bringing in the money, regardless of the gay agenda, morals, or conscience, companies will advertise to the LGBTQI population. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">As someone once told me, “This is the way capitalism works, if [you] don’t like it, perhaps [you] should explore immigration opportunities in North Korea.”</p>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-89266418797676354252009-09-06T22:58:00.000-07:002009-09-06T23:20:30.701-07:00Fresno Magazine-Everything I'm NotSo I've lived in Fresno for a few years now, and I have grudgingly grown to love it. I like the diversity, the culture (yes, there is culture here, if you can come a little ways south), the people and the Tower District specifically. <div><br /></div><div>Fresno Magazine is not a clear representation of Fresno. It should really be called North Fresno Magazine. Or Sprawlville Magazine. It features ads by plastic surgeons, upscale restaurants, and stories about makeovers, apparently. </div><div><br /></div><div>Fresno Magazine's mission statement is: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-style: italic; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; ">To celebrate the Fresno area by building community pride & awareness through a shared creative voice.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia; font-style: normal; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; ">Sounds good, right? But featured in the last edition was the first of the "Fabulous At Any Age" series. A well-deserving woman was chosen for a makeover. </span></i></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm all for a makeover. I have been known to cut and/or dye my hair, and buy a new wardrobe. At 29, that's really all I need. </div><div><br /></div><div>It wasn't enough for the first woman in the series of five. Protecting her name, Ms. X, a stay-at-home mom, was given the works-hair, make-up, clothing, even dental work. And plastic surgery. </div><div><br /></div><div>Fresno Magazine submitted the press release, stating, "[Ms.X] wants to regain her confidence and <i>feel like a woman again</i>." They announced the unveiling to parade Ms. X's new look at a local restaurant. </div><div><br /></div><div>Did I mention Ms. X is 23? </div><div><br /></div><div>Fresno Magazine is a world of plastic surgery, botox, and fake tans. I don't want to be hypocritical, so I'm being a little careful. I am not against any of these things, but note the name of the blog. </div><div><br /></div><div>You <i>can</i> be fabulous at any age (even 23!). With a little "work."</div>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-30260666586313757682009-09-06T22:57:00.001-07:002009-09-06T22:57:47.764-07:00The Mission Statement-by Megan and Andrea<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica; color: rgb(99, 32, 53); font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; ">This is the blog of 5 friends. We work, we are educated, we are strong. We possess and own our inner beauty. We are passionate about life and don't care if our viewpoint challenges the status quo. We think for ourselves and value education and family. We wear our clothes more than once, and believe our bodies are beautiful. Our names are Andrea, Megan, Karen, Lisa and Amy. And we are real women.</span>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-21202953146996787262009-07-27T18:36:00.001-07:002009-07-27T18:37:12.308-07:00Everything Happens For A Reason<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; "><div style="border-top-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 3px; padding-right: 3px; padding-bottom: 3px; padding-left: 3px; width: auto; font: normal normal normal 100%/normal Georgia, serif; text-align: left; ">Not.<div><br /></div><div>A friend of the family went to jail for shoplifting. His wife was understandably disappointed, but bravely stated, That's okay. Everything happens for a reason.</div><div><br /></div><div>Right. The reason is he got caught stealing.</div><div><br /></div><div>It's not that I don't believe in God, or that I don't think He has a plan for us. I'm not sure I believe in a specific plan for each of us-maybe-but at least the plan that we should all return to live with Him.</div><div><br /></div><div>However, I like to think that I have to be a little more accountable for my own actions, for what happens to me, and around me, and exercise my free agency.</div><div><br /></div><div>I believe that God is all powerful, but I know He doesn't force us to do things, therefore, He isn't behind everything that happens, and if something bad happens to me I can't always blame it on Him and say it must've happened for a reason. I feel like that's a cop-out, and I can't respect that. When a drunk driver killed my friends mother, what was the reason for that? "It happened for a reason" would hold up great in a court of law. The reason is, he chose to drink more than a safe amount, and then chose to get in his car. Then he chose to drive her way, and he killed her. What kind of comfort would "Everything happens for a reason" bring her children?</div><div><br /></div><div>I am always dismayed at the number of people who try to comfort mothers who have lost their children, tell themselves everything will be okay when it really won't, and make the excuse for some mistake they have made by saying, "Everything happens for a reason."</div><div><br /></div><div>I like to make the best out of things, meaning not repeat mistakes, grow, learn new things. My divorce, losing my brother, losing my job, car, home and boyfriend all in one year. I am so much stronger. Do I think these things "happened for a reason." No. They just did. God didn't cause these things. My husband made poor decisions, my brother had a kidney disorder, and a number of occurrences happened causing me to start over with nothing.</div><div><br /></div><div>I like to think I did pretty well with these things. I got back on my feet, and now I have just about everything I had and more.</div><div><br /></div><div>This I do have to give God credit for. I could not have done it without Him, but I like to give myself a little credit, too.</div></div></span>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-18785697245119443652009-07-19T19:55:00.001-07:002009-07-19T20:20:12.642-07:00Today's Craft<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SzB6GIUIEtk/SmPiMrmGbWI/AAAAAAAAADI/HGT_mZ5Cf-c/s1600-h/DSC00453.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_SzB6GIUIEtk/SmPiMrmGbWI/AAAAAAAAADI/HGT_mZ5Cf-c/s320/DSC00453.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5360376688989859170" /></a><br />Since the internet was down, and I was tired of using a bobby pin as a bookmark, I decided to get crafty and make one. I asked Hank if he wanted one, and he did. So I got out my crafts and got to work. <div><br /></div><div>I wasn't sure which direction to go in, so I pulled out beads, feathers, cards, paper, and ribbon. I decided to start with birthday cards. and a photo. </div><div><br /></div><div>I used an old birthday card for Hank's, and a photo of my junior high friends (not the Amigas) for mine. </div><div><br /></div><div>I cut the picture and the card to an approximate bookmark size. Since there was part of a message from my mother on the birthday card, and gibberish on the back of the photo, I cut and pasted a piece of construction paper to the back of each. I tied a black ribbon through the heart hole in mine, and string through Hank's. I added the letters DRDELCORE from square beads I had, to Hank's, and tied mine. </div><div><br /></div><div>Voila! Beautiful bookmarks. I like crafts. Now back to my book. I'm reading Gone With the Wind. If you haven't read it, read it now. I'm curious to see what other women think of it. </div>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2016550239424610931.post-86974279219059440452009-07-19T19:42:00.000-07:002009-07-19T19:55:14.500-07:00A Letter From the EditorIf you want to know how to bag a man, or what celebrities are wearing, you are in the wrong place. This is the blog of Andrea, Megan, Karen, Lisa and Amy. We will vent, complain, and write useful information for real women. <div><br /></div><div>To be honest, we like clothes, men and fashion. We also value education, work and money. We like homemaking, cooking and crafts. We are real women. </div><div><br /></div><div>As the oldest, and most outspoken, I will make the assignments. </div><div><br /></div><div>Andrea-Editor-in-chief</div><div>Megan-Reporter</div><div>Karen-Recreational advisor</div><div>Amy-Home designer</div><div>Lisa-Fashion</div><div><br /></div><div>Thanks for reading!</div><div><br /></div><div>Andrea</div>Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09795853470091242316noreply@blogger.com3